More of the story... (Part 3)

We went over to Frank's partner's neighbor's home, where she so graciously offered us to stay, while she was visiting her daughter out of town. Before we went to bed, I changed Trey's diaper and noticed some red marks and bruises. I called Frank to look at it and he said it was probably from sliding down the stairs. I didn't feel great about that. But I will tell you that I am totally an over-reactor and Frank is an under-reactor. We tend to meet in the middle and we agreed to wait until the a.m.

(Side bar) I know what you're thinking... What in the world??? Why didn't you take him somewhere? Call someone? --- We were told a story...we had no reason to think that this was anything more than what we were told. These were people we knew and trusted. The story seemed consistent at the time. Hind sight is 20/20 and what I would do to know then what I know now. (End of side bar)

Well, after a terrible night of sleep...we got up and headed to Frank's office. I didn't even take a shower. I went and showed the physician's assistant Trey's butt as soon as we got there. It was worse that morning than it had been the night before. She confirmed our feelings that it was more than an accident from sliding down the stairs.

An x-ray of Trey's right forearm revealed 2 fractures. His radius and his ulna were BOTH broken. I will never forget the look of that x-ray in my life. We were sent to an orthopedist who told us that Trey would have to have surgery to complete the break of his ulna so it would heal properly. We returned to Frank's office to wait until it was time for the surgery.

Frank's partner showed up at the office. He also happens to be the county coroner. He & his wife took pictures of all the marks/bruises on Trey. It was the most horrifying thing to experience. After he was done photographing Trey, he showed me on Trey's butt where a handprint could be seen. I thought I was going to throw up.

At 2pm on December 19th, Trey underwent surgery. Child protective services (CPS) was called. They took pictures again of Trey's injuries. The police department was called to file a report. CPS instructed us to take Trey to a Children's Hospital to be checked out from head-to-toe.

He had labs drawn to make sure he didn't have a clotting disorder and that his platelets were normal. Everything came back stone-cold normal. He was x-rayed from the top of his head to his toes. They were all normal. The child mal-treatment specialist was consulted. We were to follow up with CPS in our home county. We also followed up with the child mal-treatment specialist.

That night when we got home from Children's ER, we snuggled in our bed with Trey. I asked Trey what happened to him and he proceeded to tell me... "I fell on the dog, ...spanked my butt, he got loud, because I was crying...I wanted you, he threw me on the couch." (my paraphrase) Once again, ready to vomit.



(More soon...I know, long story. Tell me about it, I lived it.)

The Beginning of the Story... (Part 2)

December 18, 2007 - My husband's Christmas party for his new job.

Not us, but you get the point.

We needed a sitter for Trey and of course, the likely people, would be our friend's parents. They loved Trey like their grandchild. Well, they were out of town, but my friend told me she thought her sister and brother-in-law would be willing to watch him. We worked it out.

We drove the hour drive with Frank that morning and dropped him off at work. Trey and I went to Frank's new partner's house and hung out with his wife for the day. It was a good time to get to know each other better. Such sweet people.

When Frank was finished at work, Trey and I picked him up and left to take Trey to the sitters. Plans had somewhat changed in that my friend's sister would not be there when we dropped him off, she had their teenage son at a doctor's appointment.

Trey was a little cranky when we left him...he had fallen asleep on the way, since he didn't get a nap during the day. We told our friend's brother-in-law to call if he needed anyting.

I called to check on Trey when we arrived at the party about an hour after we dropped him off. I was told he fell over their chocolate lab and was crying. I told the brother-in-law to call me if he didn't settle down. We never heard another word.

We rode with Frank's partner and his wife to the party and so they took us to pick up Trey. This was around 10 o'clock. I went in to get Trey and when he saw me, he immediately started crying and came to me. He told me his arm hurt.

Almost immediately, my friend's brother-in-law asked me if Trey liked to slide down the stairs on his butt. I thought this was odd and told him he only does it at our house to get from one floor to another and we live in a tri-level, so there's only 6 stairs at a time. He then told me that Trey must have slid down their stairs a million times. He also said that he and their teenage son had slid down the stairs too. Weird, for a 35 year-old man, for sure.

I told Trey that his Daddy would look at his arm when we returned to Frank's partner's house. He really fussed about it. The brother-in-law walked me out to the car and while I put Trey in the car he asked Frank about the stairs and a few other odd questions. Trey refused to hug him goodbye or even give him high-5.

When we returned to Frank's partner's house, we took off Trey's sweatshirt for his arm to be looked at. We all noticed some red marks on his shoulder/neck. Frank and his partner both checked out Trey's arm and said there was swelling. Their thoughts were maybe he sprained it while playing and we also attributed the red marks to playing. If his arm was not better after motrin and a nights sleep we would x-ray it in the morning.

(to be continued...)


Click here for Part 3.

The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

Let me just say this, first of all...which I believe you can't fully understand until you have been through the court system. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth does not necessarily get to be revealed in court. There are certain things that are "not admissible" that we believe add incredibly to a case...specifically, prior offenses.

The justice system wants to look at each and every incident that one has with the "law" as just that...one incident. As our prosecutor told us, "If you rob Bank A on Monday and Bank B on Tuesday, when you are tried in court for Bank B, they cannot bring up Bank A". I say, "crazy". I understand if they are not related...like writing bad checks and assault, fine, but if they are in the same line, I think the judge/jury should be aware. BUT, that's not how it works and ultimately, that's okay.

I am in no way saying that the truth was not presented. That is what we prayed for and we believe it was expressed as best it could. And we chose not to offer a plea bargain because we felt that the truth needed to be expressed. Win or lose. Reasonable doubt is a sticky thing and we knew that going in. Our attorney friend said, "Unfortunately in criminal law the standard is so high, the 'beyond reasonable doubt', it is so unfortunate".

We can only look back on this situation and say that we did EVERYTHING we could to make this right. No regrets. Our Trey is as awesome today as he was 1 week ago. Our God is the same today as he was before December 18, 2007.

"God is NOT happy." ~Barbara

Well, as you can imagine, today was a little rough. Just trying to process it all. I woke up feeling like, "now what do I do?". The case seemed to take up a lot of my thoughts, time, etc. Shouldn't I be calling Sam to find out how it's going? Pursuing justice for Trey...a full-time job.

I had already scheduled an appointment with Barbara (my counselor for those of you who are new) for today. I was looking forward to it, but had a hard time getting up and ready. I knew she would give me great, godly perspective. And, yep, that's what she did.

I told her about the trial, how it was 3 days long. Whew. Then I told her the verdict and saw her disappointment. Her husband is a magistrate, so she knows about the court system. We had talked previously about the possibilities, guilty or not, and I'm sure she was prepared for either.

I told her how I felt like all of the sudden it was done. No justice. Now what do I do? I'm sure God's disappointed, but we did all we could do...

Then, she grabbed her Bible. (I LOVE her!!)

She told me that God is not happy. He wants the TRUTH and the truth did not come out.

Aquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent - the Lord detests them both.
~Proverbs 17:15

I told her how I didn't understand how the defendant has gotten away with so many different things.

If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house.
~Proverbs 17:13

She said that God is not done with this situation. I then realized I was limiting God. He is NOT done with this situation. Just because this part of it has ended doesn't mean that God is done with it. Now, I need to put it in His hands. His timing is not mine.

Oh, and she broke out the Psalms. I am loving Psalms these days.

Be sure to check out all of Psalm 55. (Wow, was God in our court room? "His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart." v21.

Here's some of it...

22Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

23 But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.

But as for me, I trust in you.

But as for me, I trust in You.

Not Guilty

Just because a person is found not guilty by reasonable doubt, does not mean that they did not commit the crime.

Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. ~Romans 12:19

Trial (Day 2...and 3)

Well, the trial continued through Friday.

It will resume Monday at 8am.

Keep on praying!!

God is good!

The Trial

At 9 o'clock in the morning, we will be heading to the courthouse.

Jury selection is first. Then the trial begins.

Finally, the time we have waited for, for nearly 10 months.

Please keep us in your prayers. The jury, the attorneys, the judge, the witnesses...the TRUTH.

That's all we want. The TRUTH.

We trust in our God. We are in his hands.

The Big Picture

God sees it. I don't. I'm not supposed to. But, I REALLY want to.

God knew what was going to happen today, before it happened. I have to thank him for proving himself over and over.

The pending trial, the details of the case, whether the truth will actually be told by the defendant...God already knows. I just need to take a deep breath and remember that.

It's so not my personality. I don't sit back and wait. I am type A all the way. To a fault. But, it's the way God made me. I just have to make sure I use my personality in the right way.

On another note, a few people have asked for more details about the abuse. I have a great desire to put the information out here in blog-land, but that would be irresponsible of me at this point. The case is still pending and the defense attorney is well aware this blog exists. So, in due time, all things will be revealed.

One week from today is the trial...please pray. Pray for Sam, our prosecutor, that discouraging words would not get him down. Pray for jury selection...this is huge!

Pray for the defendant...he needs it most of all.

Subpoenas!!

Well, the sheriff visited Frank's office today. OUR SUBPOENAS HAVE BEEN SERVED!!! Who would have thought that we would be excited to be subpoenaed? October 2nd is coming, ready-or-not. I'm so ready for it. I have such a peace about it. I'll have to let you know later where I found this peace...(it has to do with forgiveness.) Anyway...just wanted to get that off my chest.

New Trial Date

First of all, I just want to say that the prosecutor on our case ROCKS!! I truly believe that the case has been postponed until this time because HE is who God wanted to prosecute the case.

It appears that the trial will take place October 2nd & 3rd. I say appears because, well, we've been told dates before and things change. I am okay with this new date. It took a little while and some chatting with the prosecutor before I came to be okay, but we are definitely trusting God. I wish it was sooner, but believe that God has a plan.

Keep on praying! God wants to hear from us and we covet your prayers during this time.

The Trial

Ugh. Our pre-trial was scheduled for July 23rd (this coming Wednesday). We believe it is being rescheduled once again. (This would be our 4th pre-trial.) I can't believe it. The trial was scheduled for July 31st and it's been scheduled since April. It has to be moved as well.

I feel like I've tried to rise above all of the politics of the justice process. You always hear how bad our court system is, and so I tried to keep a level head. I knew our time would come and was beginning to feel confident that this was it.

On July 18th, it has been exactly 7 months since the abuse of my son occurred. The two bones in his right forearm both fractured and surgery to set one of them, bruising around his neck and other places, terrible marks on his buttocks. Doesn't he deserve justice for what happened to him? In a timely manner? Why does it feel like he is the one who receives the littlest consideration?

I am angry! I haven't felt this way about this situation before now. Was I upset initially? You bet! But I was confident that the system would provide justice. Now, my family continues to be abused over and over again. All while "he" sits on his butt a free man, paying no consequence.

Hotel rooms booked, family requesting time off work, childcare set up for the children, physician's schedules cleared for that day and now must be booked back up. Those things seem menial, but it's our life everyday. Waiting for our time to come.

Will it ever end? We need closure.

Please pray for my family. God sees the big picture and we get only but a glimpse. We are trying to trust Him, knowing that we are in his hands.