Family Pictures 2009

I have totally lost my drive to blog these days...hopefully it will return soon.

But, in the meantime, here are our newest pictures.

Trey - almost 5 years old

Miss Gillian - 4 months old

I love these babes.

Babes that I never thought I'd have.


I am blessed.

Merry Christmas!!

The Cunninghams

Monster Trucks!

This weekend was the Monster Truck Show...a place this city girl never thought she'd find herself, and then she had a son! :) It was a good time and the looks on Trey's face were worth it!

Here are a few pictures from the day!!
















Ramunition

















Trey, Daddy & BigFoot!















SnakeBite















SnakeBite's Fangs
















The Avenger

He wore his rain boots and rain coat and enjoyed jumping in the very muddy mudpuddles. You only live once, right?

Next weekend is the Antique Tractor Show...more pictures to follow I'm sure. Actually, we are surprising him with Thomas Live on Stage on Wednesday, I almost forgot! A busy month!

Appendectomy In Pregnancy??

It's been a while since I've posted, but I think I have a pretty good reason...

April 7th I began having some belly pain that I attributed to stress or nervousness about a meeting Frank & I were going to about doing background checks on children's workers at church. We went to the meeting and it went well. Well, aside from the crazy right sided abdominal pain...

When we picked Trey up from our friend's home, the pain seemed to get worse. I thought this was odd, since the meeting was over. I had Frank press on my belly to see what he thought and he had a certain look on his face. He had me take Tylenol and we would see if it got better.

We got to our house about 30 minutes later and the pain was not any better. Frank called my OB who thought it sounded like my gall bladder and said we should probably head to the hospital. So, we left for the hospital.

An gall bladder ultrasound was ordered for in the morning (because an u/s tech isn't there overnight). They started an IV and drew labs. I got pain medicine and was feeling better, however I was feeling crampy/contraction like pain in my lower abdomen. I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and was given Brethine to stop the contractions.

I was only 22 weeks along. Scary.

Frank and Trey were going to go home and come back in the morning...that is, until the contractions started. So the poor guys stayed the night with me.

The next morning my OB came in. We discussed the contractions, which she believed to just be uterine irritability. And she also ordered a CT Scan to check my appendix and consulted surgery. This was around 9am.

I had my gall bladder u/s and they also looked at my placenta, which was all normal.

The surgeon came in around noon. I had still not had my CT Scan. He proceeded to pull his cell phone out in my room and call radiology to find out why Mrs. C hadn't had her CT Scan. He proceeded to tell them that either we do the Scan or he would have to go in laproscopically to diagnose what was happening. The Scan was clearly the better option.

Now, let me be the first to say that radiology in pregnancy is not recommended. I am fully aware of that. I am aware that there could be some effects to the baby. HOWEVER, if my appendix burst and I die, then the baby would not live either. My OB, my doctor husband, and my surgeon all agreed that this was the best course of action.

Unfortunately, the radiologist was not comfortable doing the scan and needed a little "convincing" by the surgeon. My CT was done around 4:30pm. My OB came into the Radiology Dept after my scan and told me that it was my appendix.

I was wheeled into surgery around 5:30pm, put under and had a laproscopic appendectomy, while 22 weeks pregnant.

How amazing is that!?

My OB (who I LOVE) was in the surgery and I saw her before they put me under. The relief I felt can't be described to know that she was there to watch out for my baby. And she did a great job.

The surgeon, who spoke up for me when I couldn't, was awesome. There was some pus around my appendix, which definitely confirmed the fact the this needed to be done sooner versus later. Just the fact that he did it laproscopically is amazing. The recovery time was near nothing. I only took pain meds for less than a week.

We are so thankful that God has been watching out for us. We know that all of this was in His hands. It is just amazing.

I am now 27 weeks along and the baby is kicking me like crazy. I am so grateful for every one of those kicks...such reassurance.

So, that's where we've been...hopefully I'll get a belly picture on here soon. Oh, and ultrasound pics. I'm so behind!!

Two is company, three's a crowd.

Because of the circumstances of December 2007 Trey has been permanently camped out in our bed. And let me be the one to tell you, I permanently put him there. We had tried a few times to put him in his own bed, but the anxiety I felt was unbearable.

The ironic part of all of this is that I was the first person to tell anyone that children sleeping in their parent's bed was crazy. Yes, crazy. And here I am, 15 months into having a child sleeping in my bed.


It has become so convenient in so many ways. Because, just go ahead and try to put him in his bed. Yea, good luck with that. It's not pretty. And who do we have to blame for that? Huh? Who?

Yep...me.


But, you see, one thing I swore I would not let happen, is happening. I refuse to let this circumstance be a "crutch" for him. I refuse to let the abuse define who Trey is. And I as his mother need to stop. He is 4 years-old and needs to sleep in his own bed.

Frank and I need our bed back to ourselves. Yea, it's a king size bed, but not meant for 3 of us. We need a few hours in the evening to ourselves.

(The funny part of this picture is that Frank is all the way at the edge of his side of the bed. Trey is smack-dab next to him, with the entire king bed behind Trey. It really is craziness.)

So tonight is it! After some discussion and planning, Trey will be put in his bed tonight, SuperNanny style. I know it won't be easy, but it needs to be done. So, around 9 o'clock tonight, could ya say a little prayer for us. All three of us.

The Best Week Ever!

Yep! The week of December 14th.

I've been told I should have played the lottery that week. Although, I've not ever played.

Remember back when we got the offer on the house? Our house that had been sitting on the market for over a year. Our house that had a ton of traffic through it, but had not had one offer. None. That was Wednesday, December 17th.

December 17th was also the day of Frank's Christmas party for work. And most of you know what happened last year. So needless-to-say, I was a little apprehensive. Everything went well and Trey had a blast.

Also, most of you know that I suffer from infertility. We tried for 5 years before finally doing our first attempt at in-vitro. We were given Trey through that attempt. Then in February 2008 we did our second attempt, which you can read about here.

On occasion I will have Frank get me a pregnancy test to take even if I'm a day late because, well, even after almost 10 years of infertility, the hope still remains. So, I'll take a test, it's negative, and I go on with my life.

(I'm sure you see where this is going...)

Well, the night of December 17th, I took a test. I left it in the bathroom, set the timer, got something to drink and just chilled. Frank and I don't even get excited, it's just like something I have to do. Well, I walked into the bathroom and sure enough...positive test. Frank's first words were, "I'll bring home another test tomorrow".

And sure enough...that one was positive too.

I called my reproductive endocrinologist and left a message for my IVF nurse. When she called me back her words were, "I have a message here that says you had a positive pregnancy test". I told her yes and I still don't think she believed me.

Let's be honest here. The odds of me getting pregnant on our own are like....nil, nada, not a chance. We always knew that with God, nothing is impossible and He has proved it in our lives.

We don't just do in-vitro...we do in-vitro with ICSI. Which means putting sperm & egg in the same place, letting them do their "thing", won't happen. They actually inject the sperm into the egg. So, God has once again shown His hand in our lives.

I am now 15 weeks along. I have been pretty sick. Not as sick as I was with Trey, but morning sickness is well, not fun. We are moved in, but with a few boxes still hanging around.

We are praising God for what we believe to be His blessings on us for being obedient to His will. The last year has not been easy for us, but we have earnestly sought out what HE wants us to do and how HE wanted us to handle everything. And He has poured out the blessing.

While I've been gone...

Well, today is the first day I actually have internet access at home. The little bit I've been online has been from my families homes. So, I thought you like to see what I've been up to while I've been out...

My front bumper

Passenger side front bumper (excuse the green glove in the corner)

Passenger side front fender

Passenger side rear bumper/fender

Yep, you guessed. Trey and I went for a little "ride". We were on our way to my sister's house and hit a patch of snow. We hit a guard rail on the passenger's side first and then landed the driver's side in the ditch.

Praise God we are and were just fine. Trey wanted his Daddy (and I did too). A nice guy with a 4x4 Chevy pulled us out of the ditch and the State Highway Patrolman was really good to us.

Now we'll be taking it in for a little cosmetic work.

It's good to be back!!

Merry Christmas From My Family To Yours!

Merry Christmas to all!

Our prayer is that you all experience the

season for what is really to be celebrated!

God sent his son Jesus as the ultimate present.

God bless you and your family.

More of the story... (Part 3)

We went over to Frank's partner's neighbor's home, where she so graciously offered us to stay, while she was visiting her daughter out of town. Before we went to bed, I changed Trey's diaper and noticed some red marks and bruises. I called Frank to look at it and he said it was probably from sliding down the stairs. I didn't feel great about that. But I will tell you that I am totally an over-reactor and Frank is an under-reactor. We tend to meet in the middle and we agreed to wait until the a.m.

(Side bar) I know what you're thinking... What in the world??? Why didn't you take him somewhere? Call someone? --- We were told a story...we had no reason to think that this was anything more than what we were told. These were people we knew and trusted. The story seemed consistent at the time. Hind sight is 20/20 and what I would do to know then what I know now. (End of side bar)

Well, after a terrible night of sleep...we got up and headed to Frank's office. I didn't even take a shower. I went and showed the physician's assistant Trey's butt as soon as we got there. It was worse that morning than it had been the night before. She confirmed our feelings that it was more than an accident from sliding down the stairs.

An x-ray of Trey's right forearm revealed 2 fractures. His radius and his ulna were BOTH broken. I will never forget the look of that x-ray in my life. We were sent to an orthopedist who told us that Trey would have to have surgery to complete the break of his ulna so it would heal properly. We returned to Frank's office to wait until it was time for the surgery.

Frank's partner showed up at the office. He also happens to be the county coroner. He & his wife took pictures of all the marks/bruises on Trey. It was the most horrifying thing to experience. After he was done photographing Trey, he showed me on Trey's butt where a handprint could be seen. I thought I was going to throw up.

At 2pm on December 19th, Trey underwent surgery. Child protective services (CPS) was called. They took pictures again of Trey's injuries. The police department was called to file a report. CPS instructed us to take Trey to a Children's Hospital to be checked out from head-to-toe.

He had labs drawn to make sure he didn't have a clotting disorder and that his platelets were normal. Everything came back stone-cold normal. He was x-rayed from the top of his head to his toes. They were all normal. The child mal-treatment specialist was consulted. We were to follow up with CPS in our home county. We also followed up with the child mal-treatment specialist.

That night when we got home from Children's ER, we snuggled in our bed with Trey. I asked Trey what happened to him and he proceeded to tell me... "I fell on the dog, ...spanked my butt, he got loud, because I was crying...I wanted you, he threw me on the couch." (my paraphrase) Once again, ready to vomit.



(More soon...I know, long story. Tell me about it, I lived it.)

The Big Picture

God sees it. I don't. I'm not supposed to. But, I REALLY want to.

God knew what was going to happen today, before it happened. I have to thank him for proving himself over and over.

The pending trial, the details of the case, whether the truth will actually be told by the defendant...God already knows. I just need to take a deep breath and remember that.

It's so not my personality. I don't sit back and wait. I am type A all the way. To a fault. But, it's the way God made me. I just have to make sure I use my personality in the right way.

On another note, a few people have asked for more details about the abuse. I have a great desire to put the information out here in blog-land, but that would be irresponsible of me at this point. The case is still pending and the defense attorney is well aware this blog exists. So, in due time, all things will be revealed.

One week from today is the trial...please pray. Pray for Sam, our prosecutor, that discouraging words would not get him down. Pray for jury selection...this is huge!

Pray for the defendant...he needs it most of all.

Go Buckeyes!

No, I'm not talking about the "real" nut buckeye...although seeing these make me hungry thinking of chocolate and peanut butter buckeyes.

Frank & I went to the Ohio State football game this weekend. You know that if you're born in Ohio you are born a Buckeye. :)

We went with Richard & Jennifer, friends of ours from our previous church. It was good to spend some time with them...I've been missing close friends these days. No kids, either, just us 4 adults. I can't tell you the last time that's happened.

I'm sure some of you have seen this picture. They say it's proof that Jesus is a Buckeye fan. I'm not too sure about that...



"Jesus" is located in Monroe, Ohio, between Dayton and Cincinnati. A million dollars or so I hear...but don't get me started on that.

Just being at the "shoe" is an experience in itself. It's an awesome stadium. And we had been given an alumni's season tickets, so our seats were great! No nosebleed for us.



Being in a stadium with 102,000 other Buckeye fans was so cool. There is a little-bitty spot of maybe 100 seats for the opposing team, but I can't imagine sitting in THAT spot. It's not even like going to an NFL game. The city of Cincinnati isn't full of Bengals fans, that's for sure.



Here's the picture of us, sweating to death. We had a really good time. We walked forever to get to the stadium and got to spend time talking without interruption. It was good to spend time with my hubby...we need to do it more often.

Thanks for the tickets and good time, Rich & Jennifer.

Forgivness is NOT a Feeling.

Forgiveness.

What does that mean? I don't know about you but, I think I associated forgiveness with a feeling or emotion. Or an automatic or expected response to an apology.

According to dictionary.com:

forgive:
1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.

Well, after spending some time with my good friend Barbara, and spending time in God's Word. I have a new definition and understanding of what God intends for forgiveness.

Forgiveness is NOT a feeling.

Forgivness is not an OPTION, but an act of obedience to the will of God.
**Wow!! This is HUGE.**
Eph 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, as in Christ God forgave you.

Forgiveness is my responsibility and is not a natural response.
**Remember "seventy times seven"??

Forgiveness means to give up the offense and not get back at the offender.
Romans 12:19 - Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay" says the Lord.

Forgiveness gives the vengeance over to God.
**See above.**

Forgivness allows emotional freedom & healing.
**Praise the Lord!!**

Forgiveness is exemplified in the life of Jesus.
Luke 23:34


The ideal situation for forgiveness is between two people. Lovingly confronting, repent, reconcile, be accountable, etc.

The non-ideal situation (only one party participating) is between only you and God. Acknowledging the sin or hurt, decide to forgive, ask God to bless the offender (whew!), etc.

What I've learned is that it doesn't always involve two people to forgive. I don't have to wait for someone to apologize to me for me to forgive them. God doesn't want me to hold on to it. If we hold on to it, God cannot deal with it.

I am soo imperfect and soo unworthy of God's forgiveness. I am not a perfect person. "As much as it depends on me, I WANT to live at peace with all men." (my paraphrase) God wants a good life for me and he is giving me emotional freedom & healing.

Thank you Barbara for all your prayers and counseling. God is using you to minister to me more than you will ever know.

Please pray for me as I work through all of these things. You either get bitter or better.

Counseling...

Since the abuse in December I have not went to see a counselor. My mom kept telling me I needed to go and I think somewhere inside of me knew I should, but "always in control" Jocelyn, thought I will...later.

I don't have any "preconceived" ideas about counseling. Actually, in the words of the great "Pastor Robbie", "Counseling is not failure". I know this. My Dad is a counselor. But, I just kept putting it off.

You see, it's no easy task to find a counselor, let alone the "right" one. It usually takes a long time to get a first appointment. And...how do you know it it's a "fit". I want christian counseling, but how do you find that and what does that mean.

Frank and I have been to marriage counseling early in our marriage. We went to a "Christian" counselor, but didn't receive christian counseling. Let me explain. The counselor we saw was yes, a christian. Did we feel like her counseling was infused with what the Bible said about the topics?? Not so much.

So, therein lies my problem. But WAIT then, enter Barbara...

My friend Susan told me of a counselor she knew of at a church. This woman did not go to that specific church, but was employed by the church to offer counseling to the church and the general public.

Susan told me of Barbara and things she had been told about Barbara's counseling. "She tells you what the Bible says about it." "She prays with you."
I thought, "no way, this has to be too good to be true". Plus Barbara is an hour away from where we live now.

So Frank and I talked about what I should do. There is a counselor 15 minutes away from where we live that I could go to. But, I told him I felt like I was supposed to see Barbara. I asked him what he thought. My dear Frank-o told me he wanted me to see Barbara. That if I felt like that's where I felt I should go, then go. Love him!

So, long story short...I was placed on the "dreaded" waiting list. I'm not sure how long I was on it, but there were definitely times I thought the trial would be over and done with before I got in to see Barbara. But, lo and behold, the Lord is good and I saw Barbara on August 11th.

I have never been to a counselor like this (not that I frequent them). I was not told her opinion about how to handle things or what to do, but she grabbed her Bible and told me what God says I should do. WOW! We pray together. She is so wise.

I'll definitely be posting more about the changes the Lord is doing in my life. I'm excited to share them with you. If this tells you anything about it...my husband texted me one day, "I love Barbara. I think she's exactly what you need".

Love you Barbara, Love you Frank!

Subpoenas!!

Well, the sheriff visited Frank's office today. OUR SUBPOENAS HAVE BEEN SERVED!!! Who would have thought that we would be excited to be subpoenaed? October 2nd is coming, ready-or-not. I'm so ready for it. I have such a peace about it. I'll have to let you know later where I found this peace...(it has to do with forgiveness.) Anyway...just wanted to get that off my chest.

Waiting, waiting...

Patience, not one of my strong suits. Although after 5 years of infertility you would think I would "get it". Well, I am sure my patience has improved since then. And now I've been given another opportunity to develop this virtue.

I've read the book by Stormie Omartian, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On, probably 4 times in my life. And, just recently, I picked it up again.





Chapter 12 is titled, "Waiting in the Wings". It was so good I had to read it to my dear husband when we went to bed last night. (Which, by the way, he loves it when I do that.) Well, anyway, he felt that I should blog about it. It was THAT good. Hopefully you will get as much from this as we did.

A little back story... Trey was abused in December, and it is now August. Things initially went along quickly and then it seems we came to a stand still. The trial is now set for October! It seemed everything was working against us and we got soo frustrated. I have often called out to God asking not just "why" did this happen to Trey, but "why" is it taking so long to come to completion. It's like torture!! Well, last night we gained some perspective...



Excerpts from the book...

"I've found it's best to view these waiting times by thinking of them as times of waiting on the Lord. Try it. You'll see. It's much easier to think about waiting on God than it is to be patient with your circumstances. Waiting on the Lord gives you the sense that something is going on - only you just can't see it. You are waiting in eager anticipation of what God is going to do next."

WOW!! What perspective! It was like my eyes were opened - I'm waiting on God, nobody else.


Here's more:

"You are always going somewhere in God's plan. And His purpose for you is constantly being realized. But you have to be patient and wait for Him to accomplish it His way and in His time."

Praise God, He is in control! Why do I have to try to control everything? I am not just sitting here in neutral like I've felt I was.


And more:

"If you ever feel like you are just going through the motions in your own life, don't let yourself become frustrated over it. (Is she talking to me??) Know that God's mercies to you are new every morning and as a result, God freshly hears your words spoken to Him as well... Even though you may not see results as soon as you would like, much is happening in the spirit realm that you don't see. Each prayer sets something in motion."

"Patience is not resignation. It's joyful anticipation of the glory that is before you... As you wait for the next scene of your life to begin, center yourself in the Lord, tell Him you are content to wait for His perfect timing, and ask Him to keep you from stumbling into any bad lighting."

A few scripture references:
Isaiah 40:31
Psalm 130:5-6
James 1:2-4 (Struggle with that one)
Lamentations 3:25-26
Psalm 27:14.

Can anyone relate?

Tattoos

I've never really been fond of tattoos. You know, the typical skull & crossbones or butterfly. No real meaning behind them. I've always felt like you stood out more if you DIDN'T have a tattoo. My husband wanted one early in our marriage and I was really against it. I don't know if it was just how I was raised, or just to go against him. :) Hey, I was 19 at the time!

Anyway, I recently had the urge to get a tattoo. I didn't know what I was going to get, but I knew it would have to do with Trey.

So I did a little research and came up with this...

I want to become a part of child abuse prevention...the blue ribbon.

I found a slogan that states Reach Out Against Child Abuse...the hand.

I know that my Trey was and is in God's hand...Trey's name and the hand.

Honestly, I love my tattoo. I got it for me, not anyone else. It's a little therapeutic. It's subtle, it doesn't require detailed explanation. If I want you to know what it means, I can tell you. If I don't, it just represents Trey & I.

Isaiah 49:15-16

Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so. He will not forget me or you!